Matthew Kelly / Supercall

Entertaining
8 Cocktails to Drink If You Can’t Stand the Taste of Alcohol

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Let other drinkers keep their super boozy cocktails and powerful straight pours—you prefer a drink with flavors other than alcohol. That’s totally cool with us. There are plenty of drinks we love that taste like all the good parts of our beloved spirits with none of that burn. For an easy evening, try drinking one of these cocktails that don’t taste at all like alcohol. (We promise they’re still full of fun.)

Matthew Kelly / Supercall
If you can drink a fruit smoothie, you can drink a Fuzzy Navel (with a name like that, you could hardly expect it to be intimidating). Equal parts peach schnapps—which is already sweet, easy drinking on its own—and good ol’ OJ combine for a perfumey sipper that’s like drinking liquid sunshine.

The Essentials

Peach Schnapps
Orange Juice
Matthew Kelly / Supercall

Because no one can see what’s in your copper mug, no one will be the wiser that you’ve swapped the traditional vodka of a Moscow Mule for red wine, maraschino and blackberry liqueur. Not only is this variation lower in booze than your typical mug of Mule, but we think it’s even tastier with deep jammy, fruity flavors to complement ginger beer’s spicy fizz.

The Essentials

Red WIne
Maraschino
Ginger Beer
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This boozy milkshake is as close as you can get to drinking a classic Ramos Gin Fizz in dessert form. Three big scoops of ice cream dominate this creamy concoction with a heady topping of whipped cream in place of the traditional shaken foam. With lime juice and orange marmalade adding a bit of fruity and citrusy flavor, this big cup of lightly spiked ice cream wouldn’t be out of place at a totally innocent soda fountain.

The Essentials

Gin
Orange marmalade
Vanilla Ice Cream
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There’s a reason why everybody at a family gathering can find common ground in a jug full of Eggnog: The creamy, eggy beverage is like liquid cake. Even though it often contains multiple types of alcohol—in the case of our recipe, both bourbon and rum—the sweet booze melds seamlessly with the decadent mixture and holiday feels to make a totally gulpable beverage. If your nana can down a few glasses, so can you.

The Essentials

bourbon
dark rum
eggs
cream
Matthew Kelly / Supercall

Even if you don’t like the taste of booze, you can probably get down with a glass of bubbly. This easy, breezy cocktail is even more palatable than Champagne straight from the bottle, thanks to the addition of a sugar cube and a few dashes of bitters to keep it interesting. If any of your snobby Old Fashioned-loving friends mock you for your distaste of alcohol flavor and ignorance of classic drinks, remind them that this is actually one of the original cocktails that was invented way back in the 1800’s.

The Essentials

Sugar Cube
Bitters
Champagne
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This dorm room staple pleases pretty much every palate. Because it’s only two ingredients, if you’re making it yourself, you can even adjust the amount of booze to taste, topping up with more orange juice and vodka as you like.

The Essentials

orange juice
vodka
Matthew Kelly / Supercall
The Sex on the Beach sprung onto the cocktail stage during a contest in Florida to see which bar could sell the most peach schnapps. To claim that covetable title, the drink had to woo drinkers of all walks to the wonders of the fruity liqueur, and it did so by combining it with a supergroup of booze-masking ingredients: cranberry juice, orange juice and Chambord. If you can manage to order one without cracking a smile, you won’t get much further than the first sip with a serious face.

The Essentials

Vodka
Peach Schnapps
Orange Juice
Matthew Kelly / Supercall

This spritzy summer drink is an exercise in tads. It’s a tad bit sweet from apricot liqueur, a tad bitter from Aperol, a tad tart from lemon, a tad salty from a pinch of salt, a tad bubbly from Champagne and soda, and a tad perfect from all of the above. It’s light, refreshing and low-ABV. You better believe it goes down easy.

The Essentials

Aperol
Apricot Liqueur
Champagne

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