So, you think vodka is boring because it’s flavorless? Well, the industry heard you loud and clear, and rewarded you, for better or worse, with a plethora of flavored vodkas. While the brands started simply with flavors like citrus, vanilla and raspberry, they quickly went out of their minds, spinning a roulette wheel of flavors to come up with some absolutely insane options. Here, the weirdest flavored vodkas on the market right now.
The 35 Craziest Flavored Vodkas Ever
IvanabitchFor those who mourn the disappearance of smoke-filled dive bars, Ivanabitch (real name) offers a tobacco-and-menthol-flavored vodka. It tastes just like the time you accidentally dropped a Kool into your vodka Martini and just kept drinking it anyway.
Naga ChilliThe Scoville scale measures the spice level in chile peppers. For example, a jalapeño comes in at 3,500 SHU (Scoville heat units). Naga Chilli vodka comes in at a whopping 250,000 SHU. Proceed with caution and a tall glass of milk.
360Homer Simpson’s spirit of choice.
Van GoghIt tastes like liquid recess.
Naked JayPicklebacks, with their separate shots of liquor and brine, are just way too much work.
Crop Harvest Earth OrganicFor the bloodiest of Bloody Marys.
Chocolate Covered Pretzel
WaveEssentially the chocolate version of salted caramel flavored vodka (also a real thing) with, we can only assume, a hint of yeast.
CupcakeEveryone knows the best part of a cupcake is the frosting, even Cupcake brand vodka.
Fresh Cut Grass
OddkaFresh cut grass is one of the top five scents of all time—this is not up for debate—but we’d never thought about drinking the stuff before. This could be a yard chore game changer.
OddkaElectricity-flavored vodka is worrying for a couple of reasons. The first being that YOU CANNOT DRINK ELECTRICITY. The second being that NO REALLY IT’S NOT POTABLE. It does, however, make us rethink our recipe for our Pokémon Team Instinct signature cocktail.
OddkaThis Oddka offering doesn’t frighten us nearly as much as Electricity, since it might taste awesome in our green, sushi-inspired Maki Mary.
Salty Caramel Popcorn
OddkaButtered popcorn vodka might have left the shelves, but Salty Caramel Popcorn vodka is here to stay—a perfect spirit for an awards show viewing party.
SmirnoffWe have no problem with this. Churros rule.
Root Beer Float
SmirnoffSpiking an ice cream float with hard root beer is a great idea, but this vodka encourages you to go even harder.
Red, White and Berry
SmirnoffPer Smirnoff, this patriotic tipple “tastes like freedom.”
Alaska DistilleryDon’t get too excited: This hemp infusion will only get you tipsy, putting this vodka squarely in the ranks of THC-free cannabis alcohol.
Three OlivesThe only way to blow bubbles with this vodka is through a straw. Trust us, we tried doing it with our mouths and just ended up with very wet shirts.
Three OlivesA not so subtle but trademark-infringement-free nod to Fruit Loops, Loopy vodka purports to taste like a bowlful of cereal—just add milk.
Three OlivesThis is SweeTart-flavored vodka is just begging to be smuggled into a movie theater.
Three OlivesJust to be clear, “purple” is not, and never has been, a flavor. But, according to Three Olives, it tastes like frozen grapes.
Three OlivesThe only acceptable way to drink S’mores-flavored vodka is in shot glasses made from toasted marshmallows.
Burnett’sCoke and vodka might sounds like a strange combination—unless you’re Taylor Swift, whose prefered cocktail is vodka and Diet Coke. Taylor, we found your new post-show drink.
Burnett’sWhile not as universally beloved as its chocolate chip cousin, the sugar cookie is a basic crowd pleaser. We can’t imagine this vodka would be too offensive to anyone with a decent sweet tooth.
County Fair Cotton
PinnacleSince cotton candy is just spun sugar, this vodka could simply be called “sugar-flavored.”
PinnacleInspired by the classic Christmas candy, this vodka would make a mean spiked hot cocoa.
PinnacleBest drunk through a Red Vine straw.
PinnacleThe ultimate vodka for anyone who buys cookie dough regularly but never actually baked a batch of chocolate chip cookies.
PinnacleWhile we anxiously await the inevitable arrival of a pumpkin spice latté-flavored vodka, we’ll settle for the next best thing: pumpkin pie-flavored vodka. There’s also a pecan pie variety if you prefer to drink a different Thanksgiving dessert.
PinnacleBirthday cake vodka is so passé. It’s all about different types of cake now, most notably America’s pretty pink favorite: strawberry shortcake.
PinnacleWhen brunch just isn’t boozy enough, add this to your regular Mimosa.
PinnacleDon’t just taste the rainbow. Drink it.
Various Flavors of Whipped Cream
PinnacleTired of boring old whipped cream vodka? Good news. Pinnacle now makes a slew of flavored whipped cream vodkas including cherry, key lime, chocolate and orange.
PinnacleOne of the Supercall staffers may happen to own a bottle and may happen to drink it occasionally and may happen to think it’s awesome...SUE ME.