Let’s get one thing clear: You should always be proud of your taste in drinks, no matter what horrible concoction you choose to throw back. That said, certain drink orders at the bar will draw judgment from both the bartender who has to make you that unpopular tipple and those around you. Some drinks are just better made at home. Here, the most embarrassing drinks to order at a bar.
The 7 Most Embarrassing Drinks to Order at a Bar
Your drink order should never cause a bartender (or bystander) to picture nipples. So let’s go ahead and outlaw the entire family of Nipple drinks. That means no Buttery Nipple, no Fuzzy Nipple and definitely no Slippery Nipple—the true star of this uncomfortable cohort—made with Sambuca and Irish cream. No matter how good these PG-13 drinks taste, they’re all hell on the ears.
There’s nothing wrong with making you and your honeybun a couple of chocolatey cocktails to celebrate a romantic evening, but ordering this ‘tini at a bar will earn you more shade than the dark tint of your syrupy drink. Given how easy this dessert cocktail is to whip up, do it right by mixing it at home. Then settle in with Chocolat and enjoy your “Martini” in privacy.
Half and Half
The Midori Sour only survived past the 1970s because of its color, a striking radioactive green. While lovers of this retro cocktail may think the bright drink signals “party” to everyone in the bar, the long drink actually signals “sad, bell-bottomed, hairy-chested time traveler.” After ordering this one, everyone may kindly ask you to boogie woogie right out of the bar. It’s best to avoid the time warp jokes and make your own Midori at home.
Fresh Lemon Juice
The most embarrassing part of a Flaming Dr. Pepper Shot is not ordering it, necessarily, but accidentally setting the bar on fire when you attempt to drink it.
Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots. EVERYBODY, stop. Sip your liquor neat if you prefer, or take a shot of something straight if you’re pressed for time, but stop it with the shots scientifically engineered to get you figuratively bombed. No one in the bar wants to take a shot with you, but we will all laugh when you attempt to “dance” afterward.
Hey, 1995 called, it wants its drink back. We have no problem with fruity drinks, especially if you make them from quality ingredients at home, but the Apple “Martini” is in a neon green class of its own. Unless there’s a craft version of the cocktail on the menu or you’re trying to complete your J.D. from Scrubs costume, skip the ‘tini.
Ordering a Long Island at a bar signals one of three things: You just turned 21. Everything you learned about cocktails you learned from sitcoms. Or you’d just like to get drunk as quickly as possible. While it can be a great drink, it still carries with it an inescapable stigma. Stick to making them at home (using our recipe of course).
All Clear Spirits