You Call Red Wine “Dark Rosé” and White Wine “Albino Rosé”
Rosé has certainly earned more respect over the past few years, carving out its own section on the wine list. But it has not eclipsed its red and white brethren. Here’s your new mantra: All rosé is wine, but not all wine is rosé.
You Don’t Have a Wine Fridge, You Have a Rosé Fridge
It’s glorious, to be sure; that wall of pink on pink on pink is truly spectacular. But one or two bottles of Pinot couldn’t hurt.
The Only Blended Drink You’ll Sip Is Frosé
Frozen Margaritas don’t do anything for you. And Piña Coladas aren’t even a blip on your radar. But the day Frosé hit the bars was the day you finally gave up your glass of wine for a goblet of slush. And that’s where your sense of adventure begins and ends.
You Have Walked out of Bars Because They Don’t Have Rosé by the Glass
No rosé by the glass? Then no you at the bar. What are you going to do, drink something different? Nope, you’ll just walk out and find a new place to drink—though you have been known to just order a full bottle of rosé for yourself.
You Can’t Think of a Time When Rosé Isn’t the Perfect Drink
Dinner? Rosé. Lunch? Rosé. Brunch? Rosé. Beach? Hiking? Cozy night in? Celebrating an anniversary? Mourning a death? Toasting the apocalypse as the world burns around you? Just thirsty? Rosé, all the way. For you, rosé is always the best option, no matter the occasion, temperature or time.
Your Phone Autocorrects “Rose” to “Rosé”
Even Siri is aware of your obsession. You’ve changed “rose” to “rosé” so many times that your (rose gold) iPhone has given up and now acquiesces to your will. Congratulations. Your love of rosé has proven that technology can learn. We’ll have you to thank when the robots take over.