The country is in a state of emergency. Simply put, we have way too much cheese. According to the Wall Street Journal, over 1 billion pounds of surplus cheese is sitting in commercial cold-storage freezers across the country thanks to Vladimir Putin’s ban on agricultural imports into Russia (the Washington Post has explained this in greater detail). To alleviate the glut, it is the civic duty of every American to eat three extra pounds of cheese a year (on top of the 36 pounds per person we already eat). To help with this heroic effort, we created a cheese cocktail to promote higher volumes of curd consumption.
We also created the single worst cocktail any of us had ever tasted.