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Entertaining
13 Cocktails to Drink If You’re a Basic Betch and Proud of It

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You spend three hours watching The Bachelor and all its iterations every Monday night, you tag your friends in hangover-related memes with the caption “so us,” and you eat mozzarella sticks while exclaiming how you are literally Liz Lemon. You’re a basic betch and you know it, and own it. While we know how much you love Vodka Sodas, there are actually a ton of cocktails that’ll satisfy your every betchy need. In honor of Taylor Swift’s lucky number, here are 13 cocktails to drink if you’re a basic betch and proud of it.

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Those copper mugs make for the best cheersing Boomerang on Instagram with your squad, so don’t bother ordering a round of Moscow Mules if the bar doesn’t serve them in the traditional vessel. While the actual contents of the drink are kind of besides the point, the easy-drinking combo of vodka, ginger beer and lime will never let you down. Go ahead and take those Mule mugs home from the bar! The bar definitely has an endless supply of them and they would look v. cute as a jewelry holder or succulent planter.  

The Essentials

Vodka
Lime Juice
Ginger Beer
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You insist that you’re such a Carrie, forever searching for your Mr. Big on Bumble and contemplating your love life out loud via Twitter. Continue to do so while sipping on this Cosmopolitan, inspired by the Sex and the City leading lady. Made with vodka, Grand Marnier, pomegranate (a known aphrodisiac *wink*) and a float of Champagne, this romantic pink cocktail will take your mind off the fact that you’ve just been ghosted, again.

The Essentials

Vodka
pomegranate juice
Champagne, to top
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You loveeee Whiskey Sours. You had them all the time in college when you were showing everyone that you were a hardcore 21-year-old who could handle Jack Daniels like the best of the boys. Wait, does this recipe not have sour mix in it? Nevermind, you’ll have a Margarita instead.

The Essentials

Whiskey
Simple Syrup
Lemon Juice
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You can’t beat a mashup of the two OG basic betch drinks: a Vodka Soda and a Vodka Cran. This cranberry-flavored Vodka Soda mixes your go-to, low-cal sipper with a spiced cranberry syrup, which is perfect for when you have to be at pilates in the morning and can’t go too cray, but you also can’t resist a Friday night ‘tail.

The Essentials

Vodka
Spiced-Cranberry Syrup
Soda Water
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After drinking nothing but La Croix for the last few years, you’ve started listing French as a second language on your resume because you can pronounce pamplemousse correctly (...right?). This cocktail mixes your favorite La Croix flavor with mezcal, Aperol, St-Germain and fresh grapefruit juice, for a light, grapefruity spritz that’s perfect for day-drinking after you #BrunchSoHard.

The Essentials

Mezcal
Aperol
La Croix Pamplemousse
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FHC pasta, FHC bagels, FHC ice cream—YOU NEED IT ALL. Despite the fact that you never really eat snacks that aren’t Pop Chips or Snapea Crisps, you are obsessed with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. Try them in this Bloody Mary, which incorporates the Cheetos dust both in the spicy drink and on the rim. Then garnish with some spicy cheese cubes, unless you’re dairy-free of course.

The Essentials

Vodka
Tomato juice
Flamin’ Hot Cheetos
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Fresh kale juice, lime, poblano liqueur, honey, mezcal and tequila come together to create a drink that is totes healthy because it’s basically a green juice. Just be sure to tell everyone that you can’t be held accountable for your actions after having more than one of these because “tequila made me do it!”

The Essentials

Tequila
Ancho Reyes Verde
Kale Juice
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Slay, then rosé. Your passion for all things rosé knows no bounds, which means you’ll love this sweet and fruity rosé punch. Just like Queen Bey herself, this punch is ***Flawless, with a delicious mixture of rosé, peach liqueur, honey and lemons [insert bumblebee and lemon emojis]. Remember to take a selfie of you holding the pink drink with your sunglasses on and a resting betch-face, and caption it, “I woke up like this.”

The Essentials

Vodka
Crème de Pèche
Sparkling Rosé
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Wine Not Wednesday! And Thursday, and Friday, and every other day of the week. Red wine is the only thing that gets you through the work week, when you spend every day drinking coffee out of a mug that says, “There’s a chance this is wine.” (There isn’t.) This red-wine-twinged take on a Manhattan uses the brand you’ll rep till the day you die: Trader Joe’s Two Buck Chuck. Don’t feel bad if you just end up drinking the cheap Cab-Sav straight from the bottle. Mondays, amirite?

The Essentials

cabernet sauvignon
Cynar
bourbon
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While you’re not entirely sure what kombucha is, and certainly don’t care for the little sludgy bit swimming at the bottom, you know that you’re supposed to love it because Gwyneth Paltrow says so. Therefore, you will drink it in every color of the rainbow. Actually enjoy your daily dose of the ‘booch by spiking it with fruity Pimm’s liqueur and ginger syrup, and garnishing it with cucumbers to feel like you are treating yo’ self to a spa day.

The Essentials

Ginger
Pimm's
Kombucha
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The only thing you love more than drinking vodka is drinking vodka while binge-watching old seasons of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Inspired by the ritzy Cali town the Kardashians call home, the Calabasas Cooler mixes Cîroc vodka (Diddy’s vodka, of course) with some San Pellegrino and Red Bull Yellow to help keep you awake while you Netflix and Chill until 3 a.m. with your bae: pizza.

The Essentials

Vodka
Red Bull Yellow Edition
San Pellegrino Aranciata
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Your eyes glisten when you see the word “avocado” listed on any menu item. You have a Google alert on your phone for the impending avocado shortage, and you know the guac is extra, damn it! That’s why you need this avocado cocktail in your life. Like a boozy smoothie, this rich avo-cocktail blends the magic fruit with cucumber, shiso and Champagne.

The Essentials

avocado
Champagne
shiso syrup
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Before the first leaf has even fallen, you’ve already broken out your arsenal of leather boots, infinity scarves and knit beanies, and are waiting outside of Starbucks for a hit of that sweet, sweet PSL. But you can make the fall classic even better by adding booze (caramelly bourbon does the trick). This spiked pumpkin spice latté, which uses real pumpkin, is the best drink to warm up with after a long day wearing flannel and posing mid-air at an apple orchard.

The Essentials

bourbon
coffee
Pumpkin Spice Syrup

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