When Mike Pence and Tim Kaine meet onstage in Farmville, Virginia, the nation won’t be expecting fireworks. In fact, we have a feeling most people who tune in will do so to get an all-too-needed moment of respite from what has turned into the most emotionally wrenching election season in 50 years. With two outsized personalities duelling it out for the top spot, we’ve never been happier to see a pair of VP picks seemingly specifically chosen for their lack of distinguishing traits.
In other words, for 90 blessed minutes, they’re getting the bland back together. And if all goes well, our biggest challenge during the debate will be staying awake. Which is why you’ll find us drinking these three fully caffeinated cocktails and just taking a few deep calming breaths.