Entertaining

11 Stiff Drinks for Patriotic Working Stiffs

“Boilermaker” is the succinct moniker for a shot (usually a shot of whiskey) and a beer. How you drink your Boilermaker is up to you: Drop the shot into a pint glass full of beer, alternate sips of the shot and beer, or take the shot and chase it with the beer. However you choose to consume it, the combo is undeniably one of life’s simplest pleasures and a great way to toast the end of a grueling work day. Pour a shot-glassful of your favorite whiskey, a pint of your favorite beer, knock them both back and wipe the sweat from your brow.

The Americano may technically be an Italian creation, but it was named for Americans’ proclivity to sip the sparkling red highball all day long. As light as the best aperitif, as bubbly as any celebratory cocktail and as bitter as the working stiff after a long day’s work, the Americano is a foolproof way to chill out on your day off.

Legend has it that American oil drillers working in the Persian Gulf in the 1950s inspired the Screwdriver because they would discretely stir vodka into their OJ using their handy screwdrivers. To make your own, add a shot (or two) of vodka to a highball glass with ice, top with orange juice, then do like an oil worker and mix it up with a screwdriver from your toolbelt. Or go big like an oil baron and batch up a whole pitcher to serve to a crowd.

Drop a plate of these Jello Shots off at the Labor Day picnic table and prepare for guests to salute. The proud red, white and blue don’t so much wave as they do jiggle, but as they’re packed with two berry flavors, condensed milk and plenty of vodka, you won’t hear us complaining.

The Rusty Nail is burdened with both an unappetizing name and a key ingredient that has fallen out of favor with the cocktailing crowd (Drambuie, a honeyed scotch-based liqueur). But it is actually a great cocktail, especially after a hearty dinner. Sweet toothers can pour an easy 1:1 ratio of blended scotch to Drambuie for a classic iteration of the cocktail, but if you prefer your scotchtails scotchier, scale down the liqueur to taste. Simply pour both ingredients into a rocks glass, add ice, stir and try to ignore the fact that the color of your drink resembles a sharp, tetanus-inducing, rusty piece of metal.

Instead of gloppy, rocky, liquid sidewalk, this type of Cement Mixer produces a creamy-citrusy shot. Made with Baileys Irish Cream and fresh lime juice, it’s better than drinking actual cement—but not much. Save this shooter for late into the Labor Day party when a curdled mouthful of cocktail sounds like a good idea.

Labor Day is about taking it easy on this government mandated day of rest, so don’t spend the whole party mixing individual cocktails. Instead, throw together this star-studded, big batched drink and kick up your heels for the rest of the afternoon. It’s not being lazy; it’s working smart.

It’s impossible to strain yourself while making Scotch and Sodas. Take a glass with ice, add the whisky, add the soda water and there you have it: a refreshing and impossible to mess up Highball. Whether you go with a cheap blended scotch or a single malt all depends on what type of working class hero you are.

The full power of Don Corleone is held within each Godfather cocktail. Legend has it that Marlon Brando was a fan of mixing up scotch and nutty amaretto, and his sipper of choice took on the name of his most famous character. After all the work you’ve done, you deserve something Godfather worthy.

You can’t go wrong with a classic like the Old Fashioned. The cocktail is like drinking straight whiskey, but sweetened up with a little sugar and made more complex with some bitters. It was one of the most fashionable drinks around in the 19th and 20th centuries, and today, it’s a drink for the masses that can be ordered at just about any bar.